Just like what we mentioned this weekend… The world is so large. Just standing there in Zion’s, Utah I was amazed how much the world has to offer, how big it is and how small I felt. And I was only just standing in one spot. Imagine how many more magnificent places there are in the entire world. Now how big do you feel?
Good-byes suck; to be melodramatic. But really—if you think about it—no matter how you put it, they’re never any fun. Through this year, I’ve had my share of good-byes to everywhere I’ve been and left. This was a year of good-byes. And, a year of hellos. I’m onto my next and last segment to my journey: home to California. Hello again sister, brother, doggies!
At the same time, good-bye mom and dad. Good-bye to the family life I had growing up. The parting this time was by far the most real, the most emotional. My family, I love them. And no matter what I may ever say, home is where my heart is.
It’s been a long three and a half months and it has felt longer than any other quarter, partially because it literally was. For the most part, this rotation selection was for my parents. I knew what I was getting myself into when I chose it. But I did it out of love, for responsibility to them. My alternative irresponsible option would have been Hawaii. I chose between having the coldest months of winter in Maryland, or having a winter forgotten on the sunny beaches of Waikiki. My friends all thought I was cray.
But I chose what I chose, and I am glad I did it. In fact, I am quite proud of myself. It was a time I needed with my parents, to try to give back to them what they feel like they’ve lost over the years of us growing up and out. It was the only chance I really had now that we are living bi-coastally. I’ve missed them too, and I wanted to do this.
And so I did, and now I’m done. Leaving today was sad, though. A little bittersweet. I felt like I was leaving my parents’ nest again for the first time. I tried to fight the tears as much as I could, but they welled my eyes, and they surely welled them good! So, friend—you who called me out for being emotionally stunted, for being unable to cry—this one’s for you. Because you’re right. For a good year, I wouldn’t cry, and I wouldn’t feel any real attachment or emotion. Wouldn’t… Or, maybe I couldn’t.
But today, I did. For my parents. I love them both and am glad that I got to live with them again. It did us good for I have learned a thing or two about how to finally live with them, lovingly.
So, yes, today was another good-bye, but I am about to say hello again to my other life. Back to my other home in California where the other part of my family reside. I have but one more chapter in my journey left. Summer was the rotation of fun. Fall, the rotation of self. Winter, the rotation of work and family. This last one… it will be the rotation of balance—in school, career, life and love. So, well—hello! And, welcome!